Discordic Ramblings

I’m taking an internet break for the summer (or I will at least try).

Basically, I’ll be inactive on most of my online accounts, and those of you who have my phone number can reach me that way (if you’re friends with me on Facebook, I posted my number there, so text me if you want me to have your number)

My reasoning? I don’t want to miss out on summer by obsessing over the things the internet can distract me with. I tend to get distracted and sucked in way too easily, and so I plan on turning my laptop off and setting it aside for the summer. I’ll really only be online to check emails, if even that much since I get emails on my phone.

I hope all of you have a wonderful summer!

Love yall,

Diana

lostfrostprince:

xurcroh:

iron-peppers:

Guitar and The Complete Tales and Poems of Edgar Allan Poe… both are heavy enough.

Good Omens and my usb. UMMMM

A Troy and Abed in the Morning mug and my indestructible otterbox case.

I think I’m good.

Well, I’m dead. I viewed this on my phone, which was on my chest. Guess which two things were closest?

One thing that I am always amazed about, when I think of the Jesus’ death, is that he could have stopped it anytime he wanted and just walked away.

But he didn’t, because he loves us. And he doesn’t just love those who are currently following or who did follow him, he loves every single human being that has ever been, will ever be, or currently is living on this earth.

He let his death and resurrection happen because he loves ALL of is, and he desires to know all of us on a personal level. He even knew that many would reject him, as they had when he was alive, but he still went through with it.

That means that every single human being, no matter how bad or righteous we think they are, deserves to have a relationship with Jesus. He wants us to rely on him for salvation. He wants to be our one, true love in life, because he knows that, ultimately, what he has in store for us is so much better than anything we can get on Earth. He always has our best interests at heart, even if it doesn’t seem that way.

If you lean on Jesus throughout your life, he will lend you strength even when you feel you are too weak to go on. He will lend you wisdom when you have tough decisions to make, and he will steer your heart onto the path that is best for it.

You don’t have to be perfect to rely on Jesus and consider him your savior, you just have to be humble enough to realize that you’re sinful, and that Christ died to cleanse you of that sin. If you follow Jesus through life, God will see you as sinless in death.

Jesus loved us enough that he took on death alone, and all he asks of us is that we love him enough to bring him into our lives so we never have to be alone, both in life and death.

I’m thankful for my savior, and despite the fact that I sometimes stray from a good path or a righteous path, I am still loved and paid for by Christ’s death and (more importantly) his resurrection. Jesus is alive, he has risen and his waiting for us in Heaven.

That, I think, is what Easter is about. So, when I say, “Happy Easter!” I’m really saying, “It’s a wonderful day to celebrate man’s redemption in Christ!”

So, with that I will say: Happy Easter! I hope your day is a wonderful time with friends and family, but also a day of reflection and thankfulness.

Love you all!

~Diana

            The sky above the field was utterly obscured by black. Even the sun was covered, causing a dark shadow to fall across the land below. At first glance, it was almost as if night had come much earlier than usual, but a second look revealed the occasional patch of blue sky or sunlight hidden among the darkness.

            The shadows on the field blow grew quickly as the dark sky seemed to write and pulse. They obscured the carnage that marred the once-peaceful, almost paradise-like field. The vibrant green of the grass was replaced with the dark reds and browns of spilled blood and other bodily fluids. The parts of the grass that were not covered by blood were covered in corpses.

            Before the end of the battle, the bodies were strewn about in the way only chaos can cause. Now, however, the armies had both retreated to their camps, preparing to engage elsewhere, leaving only the healers and priests to tend to the dead and fatally wounded. The priests, after praying over each body, would pile them up, almost like a funeral pyre. The healers did their best to comfort those walking the line between life and death, but most died slowly anyway.

            Neither the priest, nor the healers, cared about keeping the bodies separated into sides. After all, death never picks a side. Once everyone was tended to, the healers would return to their respective camps, leaving only the priests to say one final prayer. They, too, returned after the prayer, leaving the field devoid of life.

            The only true signs of life were now in the sky. Hundreds of ravens cawed and flapped their wings. The sound was almost deafening as they descended upon the piles of bodies, raucously fighting each other for the parts they could reach easily. Of course, in the end, the clock will have eaten their fill and picked the bones completely clean, leaving nothing but piles of skeletons behind.

            The first time Devon had witnessed the ravens’ feasting, she had been no older than five. At the time, it had horrified her, and gave her nightmares for a year afterward. Now, however, it barely bothered her. She had seen the scene so many times since the first that it hardly impacted her on any level these days.

            And why should it?

            War and death were the only constants she had ever known, and she was hardened to them now. Maybe, if she had grown up with a different life, she might not feel so, but that was not an option for her now, not at age nineteen.

            Devon had lived among the priests and priestesses since before she could walk. Their way of life, thinking, and experiences were all she had ever truly known. She longed for something more, something new, but the thought of abandoning the only family she had ever truly known was too painful.

            As her twentieth birthday approached, however, she couldn’t help but wonder what else life might have in store for her if she left her makeshift family. She would certainly see a lot less carnage, that much was certain.

            As one of three priestesses traveling with the Capitol Army, she was always the last to leave the battle fields. She always stayed for the ravens’ feast, or at least the beginning of it. To her, it was a form of closure, her way of reminding herself that life was a circle, encompassing everyone and everything. Sometimes it was easy to forget that circle while cooped up behind the walls of the abbey she grew up in.

**Note: This is what happens when I get the itch to write something and actually act on it. And ignore the strange indents, I copied and pasted from MS Word and I’m too lazy to fix it on Tumblr.**

Each step Jax took sank deep into the sand of the desert that stretched out around him. He felt like he had been walking for days, but in reality it had only been a few hours since he first set out with his pack slung over his back.

Where was he going?

Not even he could answer that question; he was simply following an instinct. Well, it was more like a physical tug than a mental or emotional instinct. Something was drawing him deep into the desert, tugging at him like a gentle breeze. Unfortunately, the desert breeze was hot and dry, much like the heat that radiated up from the reflection of the sun on the sand around him.

Every so often he was forced to wipe beads of sweat from his brow, his dark, almost black hair plastering itself to his forehead. He was lucky the sweat hadn’t reached his eyes, but the sand sure had. His eyes, despite wearing his usual pair of lenses, were watering readily, grains of sand scratching into his auburn-colored irises. He did his best to duck his head down, so that the sand caught only in his hair, but it was difficult to see exactly where you were headed with your eyes always to your feet.

Plus, he needed to see what was ahead of him to keep himself alive. The desert was inhabited by less-than friendly creatures, all of whom would love to feast on prey as tasty and fresh as a human. Because humans rarely ventured into the desert on foot, it was rare for the carnivorous beasts roaming the sands to encounter one, but when they did the human rarely made it out alive, and if they did they rarely made it out with all of their limbs.

When Jax first felt the tugging breeze across his skin, he followed its pull to the very edge of the desert, just to get an idea of where he might be headed this time. He had stood at the edge of the sands, staring off to the horizon, where a large dune blocked his view of what was beyond the horizon. He had immediately gone back to his makeshift home, gathering what little he carried with him into a pack that he could carry easily on his back. He changed into clothing that, for the most part, would blend well with the smooth tans and browns of the desert. Even his leather boots blended on some level.

And as he trudged on, he was thankful for his boots. They were high enough to keep the sand out, and made walking across the shifting sands much easier for him than other alternatives.

He never knew how long he would travel before the tug either became stronger or subsided, but he was ready for anything with a pack full of necessary supplies, a large machete-like blade attached to his belt, and, of course, his lenses that served as sunglasses when the sun was extremely bright and as a form of night vision glasses when darkness closed in around him.

One thing that was clearly missing from his supplies was a form of communication. He had no desire for the rest of the world to find him, hence why he was traveling alone, in the middle of the desert, and he especially didn’t want his family to find him.

But that wasn’t important, not now. As he started up the steep incline of another sand dune, Jax pushed all thought of his family from his mind. He wasn’t interested in thinking about them ever again. His calf muscles strained as he pushed his way up the sand, heading for the “peak,” as he liked to think of it, sort of like climbing a mini mountain.

That’s when a strange sound reached his ears. It was a distant sound, but growing steadily closer, and at first he wasn’t sure what to liken it to. He stopped all movement, lowering himself to his knees and digging his hands into the sand below him, steadying himself to keep from falling. The sound continued to move closer, and Jax cocked his head to hear the sound better. It almost sounded like wings beating against the wind, but the only problem was that it sounded nothing like a bird or insect, and no other flying creatures flew during the day.

Except… Jax shook his head. The thought that almost entered his mind was impossible, but as he slowly lifted his eyes to the sky, he realized that it wasn’t impossible.

High above him flew a large creature like nothing he had ever seen before. Its wing-span must have been ridiculously huge, its body just as ridiculously long. Jax stared up, watching the giant wings propel the creature forward, passing over the dune, ignoring Jax’s present.

This can’t be possible… Dragons are extinct… For a brief moment Jax rubbed his eyes, wondering if it was all just a mirage, but as the dragon’s tail passed over him, he heard something land with a dull thud on the other side of the dune’s peak. Before Jax could walk to the top and look over the edge, a very pungent, very distinct smell hit his nostrils, making him gag numerous times. That’s definitely real.

He took a few steps down the slope he was on, redirecting his route so as to miss the source of the smell. There was no telling how large it was, so he tried to give it as wide of a birth as he could. When he was finally over the dune and on his way across a flatter stretch of sand, he lifted his eyes to the sky, gauging where he thought the dragon was headed. Incidentally, the tug that had first started him on this journey seemed to be tugging him in the same direction as the dragon had headed.

Jax assumed it was fate, and started across the sands. He had no idea what would happen once he found the dragon, but that didn’t hinder his desire to keep going.

He pressed on, his heart racing at the thought of finding a living, breathing dragon.

*  *  *  *  *

            Jax stopped at the edge of the desert, looking across the land in front of him. The sand transitioned seamlessly into the suddenly green landscape, which sloped up in the distance until the grass gave way to the unforgiving rock and, eventually, snow of a mountain. Shaking any remnants of sand from the fabric of his clothes and the folds of his leather boots, he stepped forward onto the lush grass in front of him.

            The tug he had been feeling had grown much stronger, almost as if the wind was pushing him forward, toward the mountain. Rather than resist, he walked with the wind, letting it move him faster than his normal stride. Once he reached the base of the mountain, the wind pushed at his feet, trying to work its way underneath his boots. Jax had never felt anything quite like it, and for a moment he hesitated.

            During his moment of hesitation, a loud roar ripped through the still mountain air above him. He didn’t need to look up to know where the sound had come from. He instinctively pushed himself down to the ground, looking for somewhere to take cover, but the only options available to him were boulders. He had hoped for an overhang that would shield him from the dragon’s eyes as they were, most likely, scanning the ground below the mountain, looking for prey or threats to the dragon’s territory.

            All the while, as he did his best to blend in, the wind continued to push at him, becoming even more insistent. It was almost strong enough to push him up to the base of the mountain, without his cooperation. As he fought the push of the wind, Jax hazarded a glance up to the sky, figuring he would see the dragon staring straight down at him, but instead he saw a huge, lizard-like creature push off from the edge of a cave in the mountainside, heading up into the sky and away from where Jax was hiding.

            Jax let out a relieved sigh, realizing he had been holding his breath. He looked to the cave where the dragon had taken off, and made note of how far away it was from where he stood at the very base of the mountain.

            It’s a good ways away, but I bet I can make it up there before the dragon comes back. A slight smirk crossed his lips at the thought, and he immediately turned to make his way up the side of the mountain, aided by the wind.

            He climbed as quickly as he dared, trying not to lose his grip or footing as he continued higher and higher. The pace he kept was steady, but moderate, and he reached the cave faster than he thought he would. It was a struggle to pull himself up over the edge of the entrance, his arm muscles all but screaming at him to stop. In the end he managed to pull himself up by his arms, dragging his torso across the lip of the entrance, scratching the skin of his torso slightly.

            Once his body was fully inside the cave, he turned over onto his back, pausing for breath as he let the weakness in his arms dissipate. After a few deep breaths, he sat up and looked around the cave, squinting to see into the shadows as his eyes adjusted.

            What he saw in the shadows, at the very back of the cave, made him inhale sharply. He could just barely make out what looked to be sticks, branches, twigs, and other similar things woven together to form a large nest, and within that nest there appeared to be at least three large… eggs? They looked like large stones, but he knew they were eggs.

            Why else would the dragon come here, she certainly wasn’t making nests for stones.

“Unless she’s crazy…” Jax whispered, the sound of his voice startling him as it reverberated off the walls in a soft echo. Jax had very few reasons to speak aloud when he was out on his own, and so his own voice was almost alien to him now. As the echo faded, the sound of movement reached his ears. One of the eggs was shifting, rolling slightly from side to side on the materials that made up the nest.

For a moment, Jax paused, standing stark still, his eyes fixed on the moving egg. Surely it wasn’t hatching, right? He pressed his lips together, wondering if his voice had somehow awoken the dragon inside the egg. A tension-filled silence filled the cave, and Jax was sure his anxiety was radiating from his body, like an aura.

As the silence carried on, the egg stopped moving, and Jax relaxed a bit, his rigid body loosening a bit. Once he was sure the egg had stopped completely, Jax took a step toward the nest, his arm extending so his fingertips could just barely graze the surface of the egg.

From where he was standing, and now that his eyes were adjusted to the lack of light in the cave, Jax could make out more details about the eggs. There were four, and each was a different metallic color. The one he was touching was a deep, glossy black. The surface was surprisingly warm to the touch, rather than the cold he had expected to feel. It was as if a fire burned deep inside the egg, and the longer he kept his fingers against the surface, the warmer he felt.

Instinctively, Jax pressed his entire hand against the egg, closing his eyes. Through the surface of the shell, and the heat that radiated from within, Jax felt something else. At first he thought it was a slight vibration, one that could be translated as a slight hum, but the longer he stood there the easier it was for him to identify a rhythm to the vibration, like a heartbeat. Soon he felt his own heart slowing to match the rhythm of the egg’s beats.

Suddenly, the heat of the egg’s surface became unbearable and Jax pulled his, now burned, hand back, yelling out in pain. He held his hand close to his chest, afraid to touch the egg again, his yell echoing around him as most sounds seemed to within the cave.

Once the echo quieted, Jax became aware of a different sound… One he used to hear every morning when he was just a boy and his mom made eggs for breakfast. The sound he was hearing now, however, was different. It was bigger, much bigger. His eyes shifted to the surface of the egg, and he inhaled sharply, taking a step back. The egg’s surface was mottled with cracks, all of which radiated from one spot. He could hear a constant tap-tapping from within the egg.

Jax knew enough about animals that hatched out of eggs, to know that most had a special bump on their beaks or snouts, that helped them break through the surface of the egg. It seemed that dragons had a similar bump, and Jax was experiencing it firsthand.

“This isn’t happening,” he muttered, taking another step back. His thoughts immediately went to the mother of these eggs. She could come back anytime, she could even be on her way back right now. “What did I get myself into?” Jax shook his head, turning to leave, but paused, no longer hearing the cracking noise.

He turned his head, looking over his shoulder, a feeling of apprehension filling him as he strained to see what was happening in the nest. What he could only assume were the sounds of a newborn, baby dragon, reached his ears, and his curiosity got the better of him. He walked to the nest and peered over the edge.

The baby dragon was curled up in a small puddle of fluid from the egg. Its jet black scales matched the surface of its egg, and Jax felt his expression soften at the sight. Even he had to admit that, despite the danger he was in, this was an experience he would never forget. As Jax stood, staring at the baby dragon, intently watching its movements, the dragon lifted its head, opening its eyes. Jax was surprised to see that the dragon’s eyes glowed in the dark, two bright green beacons shining through the shadows. The baby dragon met Jax’s eyes, and Jax felt his gaze lock, unintentionally, with the dragon’s eyes.

Something deep inside of Jax leapt, and he felt his heart rate pick up. The dragon shifted shakily to its feet, and it took a few, tentative, steps toward Jax. It seemed to want to meet the human standing in front of him. It put its front feet on the wall of the nest, its eyes just barely able to see over the edge. Slowly, the dragon tested its weight against the nest. Once it was satisfied, it climbed its way, still shaky, over the edge until it flopped, ungracefully to the other side.

Jax stepped back, feeling the beginnings of an adrenaline rush, at the realization that the baby dragon seemed able to walk and see almost immediately after hatching. The dragon’s eyes had stopped glowing, and Jax was glad for that one small comfort; it seemed less dangerous when its eyes were no longer glowing.

Less dangerous? This is a dragon, there is no such thing as less dangerous! Jax reminded himself as he took another step back. The hatchling followed persistently, its head cocked to the side as it watched Jax curiously.

“I’m going to leave now…” He knew the dragon couldn’t understand him, but Jax felt comforted by his own words, so he continued speaking. He reassured the baby that he meant no harm, and that he was only visiting the baby, nothing more. With each step he took, the dragon matched him.

Jax finally reached the very edge of the cave’s entrance and stopped. There was nowhere for him to safely go, and the dragon was practically on top of him. “Fine, you win…” Jax was sure the dragon’s instinct to hunt and kill had kicked in and it was slowly stalking him, waiting for Jax to realize there was nowhere for him to go.

Instead of forcing Jax one way or the other, the dragon stopped and sat down, making a small, dragon-chirping sound at Jax, whose brow furrowed in confusion. A long, silent pause hung between them that seemed to stretch on forever.

As Jax stood at the very edge of the cave, he felt a gentle press against his mind, sort of like the beginnings of a dull headache. This feeling was unlike anything he had ever experienced, and it scared him. As the pressing became slightly stronger, Jax tried to press back, his mind making contact with whatever was pressing against it.

The dragon in front of him let out a cry and flinched, surprise clearly written on its dragon features. Its eyes were filled with hurt, and it began to slink away.

“No! Wait…” Jax felt suddenly frantic as the dragon’s mind pulled away from his, isolating Jax within his own head again. There was a sudden feeling of longing deep inside his chest, the feeling of isolation giving way to the pain of being completely alone.

The dragon stopped its movements and looked at Jax, its long neck craning over its shoulder, its back still to Jax.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Jax spoke the words, but he also tried to convey his feelings to the dragon mentally, reaching out first, this time. When he felt his mind make contact with the dragon’s, he almost expected to encounter the mental equivalent of a slap or a punch to the face, but the dragon remained open and allowed Jax to continue the contact with him.

As alien as the feeling of mentally connecting with the dragon was at first, it began to feel comfortable for Jax, right even, and Jax didn’t want to lose the contact he had with the dragon. However, Jax knew that if he didn’t leave soon, the mother dragon would return to the cave, and would most likely make Jax into dinner.

His thoughts must have communicated to the dragon because it immediately ran over to him and wrapped its tail around Jax’s legs. Jax wobbled on his feet, trying to keep his balance, but as the dragon’s tail tightened, Jax felt his balance shift and soon he felt himself careening back, the dragon holding as tightly as it could to Jax’s body.

The two fell backward, bouncing off the mountainside as they made their way toward the base of the mountain once more. Somewhere along the journey down, Jax’s head slammed into multiple rocks and possibly even a tree root, plunging the rest of the descent into blackness as Jax lost consciousness.

A Note: I started writing this almost a year ago, but I finally feel like I can publish it and feel proud of it. I hope you find it informative, and if you come to this looking for something, I hope you find it.

I don’t enjoy putting myself into a box, especially one labeled “Introvert” but the more I explore what an introvert is, I realize that I am one.

According to one of dictionary.com’s definitions, an introvert is a shy person. Anyone who really knows me well, knows that I’m not particularly shy. Another definition is “a person characterized by concern primarily with his or her own thoughts and feelings,” which I think makes introverts sound extremely self-absorbed. Neither definition really hits the nail on the head.

So, what does it mean to be introverted?

Well, it’s different for every introvert, but there are definitely a few characteristics that seem to be consistent for most introverts.

1. Introverts need their alone time. When I was in high school, I used to turn off my phone for days at a time over the weekend so that I could have time to myself. At the time, of course, I didn’t fully understand why I needed this alone time, but now it makes perfect sense. It wasn’t that I wanted to be anti-social, because I certainly enjoy spending time with friends. It was that I wanted to time be alone and just think. Today, I still seek out time for myself. I usually spend the evenings alone because I spend my daytime with people in class and outside of class at lunch and things.

2. Introverts do not excel in social situations where they are expected to start conversations with complete strangers. For me, it doesn’t matter what kind of social situation it is. It could be church or a party, I find myself feeling extremely uncomfortable when thrust into situations like this, even if I know people. Although, knowing people certainly makes it easier, I just can’t seem to get comfortable with the conversing part of large social situations. I would be content to stand off to the side and listen to other people’s conversations, and many times that’s what I end up doing. Many people interpret that as being “socially awkward” or some equivalent, but the truth is, I learn more about people by listening to their conversations and observing.

3. Introverts need time to adjust to situations before putting themselves out there. I touched on this in number 2, but I’ll elaborate some more. For me, I tend to prefer observing before doing anything when it comes to social contact with someone. I rarely make conversation on the first day of class, unless I know someone in the class. For me, it’s all about getting a feel for the situation before putting myself out there. A lot of people consider that to be hesitation, but in reality, it’s less hesitation and more taking my time. I feel like the same would apply to my relationships, I feel. I’ve observed myself when it comes to my friendships. I’ve never been good at keeping in touch, or making the first move to call someone, and I think that’s partly to do with my desire to observe and think before acting (and I feel like this applies to more than just friendships).

4. Introverts aren’t afraid of human contact. It’s true, I love being around my friends. It’s true, I’m highly unlikely to walk up to a stranger and initiate a conversation, but if a stranger comes up to me and starts a conversation, I’ll be more than happy to talk with them because I actually enjoy talking (if you know me, you already know this). For me, I thrive in situations where I’m around two or three people that I know well, rather than twenty people that I hardly know or twenty complete strangers.

5. I’m not going to generalize with this one, because I can’t speak for all of the other introverts out there. As an introvert, I have a smaller number of friends than extroverts generally have. I am extremely careful and thoughtful about who my friends are, and I think that makes a huge difference in my life.

I think, sometimes, introverts get overwhelmed, especially in new situations. They try to observe, which comes naturally to them, but certain situations have so much going on that they tend to get overloaded and, as a result, they draw into themselves more. Introverts don’t necessarily thrive on the energy of being in a room full of people, and sometimes that energy can actually be draining. For me, I have to have time to mentally prepare myself for any situations like that. I can’t just walk into something, spur of the moment, and expect to be ok.

Luckily for me, I have friends who have willingly put up with my introversion, whether they fully understood it or not. I know I probably drove certain friends crazy when I would disappear for days at a time. I’m sure there are some other friends I have that probably don’t understand why I very rarely call them, or very rarely hang out with them. Which, in turn, makes me seem like and feel like a terrible friend.

The truth of the matter is that I’m working on it. I don’t expect myself to become an extrovert, and I don’t expect to change overnight, but I’m trying. I’m slowly putting myself out there more. I’ve found my days more full with friends that I am hanging out with, and spending time with, whether we have conversations or whether we just enjoy being in each other’s company.

If you’re one of those friends that are confused about why I’m not calling or hanging out with you more, tell me. Sometimes I’m in my own little world, and I end up missing the obvious signs that others are sending me. I can’t work on a problem if I don’t know it exists. You may have to initiate it, but I’ll try to make a more conscious effort to fix it, after I’m aware of it.

To all the friends that put up with me and my introversion every day: I love you guys, I really do. You’re all awesome and I know that God has put you in my life to make a positive impact, and I pray that I’m making a positive impact on your lives as well. I’m not perfect, and I know that you guys know it. I’m thankful that you have stuck with me for as long as you have.

To all the friends I’ve lost, whether it be a result of introversion, or something else: You have all helped me learn from my mistakes, and, in a strange way, I’m glad things didn’t work out. It’s because of all of the failed relationships that I can maintain the other relationships, because I know what not to do.

No matter what, God has used all of this for His good, and I’m extremely thankful for all of the learning moments and blessings He’s given me so far.

Here’s to many, many more blessings, cherished friendships, and much more time with the ones I hold closest.

In winter, when everything

around me is dead and

lifeless, I feel the most alive.

During those cold days

my heartbeat burns through me,

an internal fire,

warming every inch of me.

When I’m with you,

the fire roars inside of me,

as if trying to consume me

from the inside out.

1. Getaway by Turn Off The Stars

2. The Tracks of My Tears by Smokey Robinson and the Miracles

3. Should’ve When You Could’ve by Skillet

4. Careful by Paramore

5. Younger Than Our Years by The Fold

6. Unfailing Love by Christ Tomlin

7. Adelaid by Anberlin

8. You Think You’re Nickel Slick (But I Got Your Penny Change) by Emery

9. Fade Away by Day of Fire

10. Like A Rolling Stone by Anberlin

11. The Weakest by Emery

12. Suicide Baby by House of Heroes

13. The Beginning by Showbread (from the Nervosa album)

14. Stuck In A Glass Elevator by Myriad

15. End of The Line by Pivitplex

16. Hindsight by Until June

17. We Can Make It by Tim Halperin

18. Catastrophe! (Prepare to Defibrillate) by The Fold

19. Good To Be Here by Pocket Full of Rocks

20. Glass To The Arson by Anberlin

So, most of these are songs I rarely listen to anymore, oddly enough. I still listen to Anberlin, Skillet and Emery. Most everything else happens to be music I haven’t heard in a really long time. And no, I’m not making excuses, just testifying to the poor job iTunes did shuffling this time.

(via sparrowsoverbirmingham)

It’s funny how you learn something new every day, and how God uses those moments of enlightenment.

How does this relate to my internship?

Well, the book I’m assigned to this semester is a book that is very close to the heart of my city. The book is a photography book of the homeless of the city I live in, and their stories. Basically the photographer went on a three day journey through the streets and other living areas for the homeless in the area and photographed some of the people and wrote down their stories. Part of the materials that the photographer gave us for the book is her full journal from those three days.

At first I assumed that this book was going to be a book of images that I could hardly look at, and I would feel like crap going through the images. Instead, I discovered that these people are homeless, but not hopeless. It was interesting to me to read through the photographer’s journal and read the stories of the different subjects. Almost all of the stories involve either a loss of job, a debilitating illness, or some other obstacle that seems impossible for them to overcome. Most of them are positive, and continue to have hope and faith that things will change.

One thing that stuck out to me the most was a line about how counseling is always needed for the homeless, and I wonder if I’m being pointed in a new direction through my work with this book. I guess it’s just something that I’m going to have to pray about and think about.

Another thing that I’m reminded of is the necessity for the numerous shelters we have in the city. It makes me want to get out there and volunteer with a shelter (which I’ve done before and loved). There are plenty of options out there, and I think that’s where I’m being led right now. Since I’ve lived in this city my entire life, I’ve always felt that I should continue to give back as often as my time allows me to, and volunteering at one of the shelters might be a good option.

As for the book, I think it will achieve its goal in bringing awareness to the plight of homelessness in the city and the rest of the United States, as well as spurring people to action, which is an exciting thought.

Thanks for reading!

Love yall,

~Diana

I think I know what I want to specialize in when I start grad school for counseling.

1. I want to help people who are suffering from addiction, mostly alcohol, but probably chemical dependency in general. My life has been affected by an alcoholics, both positively and negatively, and I’ve found that I have a desire to help those suffering from chemical dependency (it’s what I’ve known I wanted to do since I realized I wanted to be a counselor).

2. I want to help soldiers suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Why, you ask? Because I want to give back to the people who put their lives at risk for my country. Because, if I have a say in electing people who decide the fate of soldiers in the military, then I should have a say in how they recover from the effects of active duty when they return. But mostly because I want to help them. I’ve been seeing a lot of commercials for organizations like the Wounded Warrior Project, and the more I think about it, the more I feel that’s where I should focus myself. The thought of a soldier returning to the United States, after having fought overseas voluntarily, and not getting the help he or she needs, especially if they are suffering mentally, likely means they will commit suicide or try to. And that’s heartbreaking to me. A soldier should never have to deal with the emotional and mental toll that combat takes alone, and that is where a counselor can be of great help.

This is where I feel God is leading me, and I can’t ignore the pull. This is where my heart is right now, and I’ll follow that path until God leads me elsewhere.